Breaking Bond

“Do you really think I deserve someone like you in my life?” she groused with an intense loath in her voice whereas he remained hushed in shudder staring down on the floor as he was trying hard to believe that she was the same women he loved with all his heart. She continued her grumble, “Have you ever seen yourself?” and then she stayed quiet a moment or two waiting to get a response from him; but he was too traumatized to reply anything. He remained silent although his breathe was capable of being heard. “What am I really getting being in a relationship with you? Nothing besides aches and incompleteness. I want to move out of this relationship now. It’s over!” she added further with a hope to conclude the drama.

“But you promised we will stay together till the end!” he gathered a little courage to surface himself from his chaotic thoughts and replied in an absolute mutter.

“I remember what I said. And I tried to be happy being in this relationship. But if truth be told, I can’t pretend to be happy anymore. I deserve a lot more than you can ever arrange for me. I can’t pretend dwelling in a house that is eating me alive. You must understand what I want.” she came back with a most uncouth way possible.

He was trying hard to voice his stand but the mind and heart was in an unbroken battle. He didn’t know if it was all right to let her choose her happiness or make her stay for he knew that no one can love her the way he do. Staying back was difficult, but moving seemed impossible. He craved to let her go but he desired her too intensely. He was stumped and stuck in a mayhem at that moment in time. With every possible might left inside him, he said, “I want myself to let you go as much as you want to walk out. But I am yet to love you the way I always imagined. I’m saying I deserve a chance, I’m saying, it’s a matter of time. After all that’s been said and done, all I need is a little time. I know I promised you the sun and I’m barely able to give you any light. But I love you! Hold on to the most special thing we have and we both know we can’t find that anywhere else. Hold on to that promise we made to each other. Hold on to that feeling. Hold on to us. Hold on to our love.”

“I want to hold on to what we have, but I’m too tired now. This thread is breaking and it can’t hold us together anymore. You will find someone better who’d understand you. But I can’t read the language you write and I can’t speak the words you want. It is better that we part ways now!”

He wanted to give up. But then he also knew that if he give up now, he would regret it later. So he decided to try a little harder, “Please don’t go! I’m yet to show how much I love you, I’m yet to prove you things, I’m yet to talk about all the things I feel, I’m yet to make you happy, I’m yet to make you smile! I still have a lot left to talk about… Please don’t go!” he went down on his knees begging for her to stay back.

“No, I can’t! I have made my final decision. We need to understand that at times, people are not meant for do or die” she said in vanishing footsteps.

There was nothing left to do, there was nothing left to say. He wiped his tears and got up. He watched her leave till she gradually disappeared in the mist. He turned around and started walking away for he knew he did all he could to save it.

Deep inside him, he knew that one day she would regret losing him. But for now, she can’t see anything besides her selfish desires. He knew that there will be a day when she’d be left all alone with her chaotic thoughts and then she’d understand that no one could have loved her the way he did. He offered his love in the most devoted ways and he worshiped her. At some point she’d understand his worth and she’d discern that the love she thought to be lethal was actually the one that could have saved her from her demons. That one day, when she’d be craving for somebody’s arms, she won’t be able to find him back.

But for now, it was time he set himself free and break the shackles. It was time he stop setting himself on fire for someone who never cared about the ashes he was turning into. It was time he collect the pieces of his broken heart and move ahead. He knew that one day she’d realize that no can love her flaws the way he did.

“Just because I spent a long time making this mistake, doesn’t mean that I will cling to it for a lifetime. In the end, it was a mistake – perhaps the biggest mistake of my life. I will take this as a lesson and I will move out. You can’t save a love that wants to die. You can’t sing lullabies for the one who hums dirge for you. So I am choosing to set myself free from your fetters and I’m running out of these dead woods – leaving my skeletons and flesh behind – but I’m taking my soul with me. I lost myself trying to find you, now it’s time I find myself back again.”