Addicted to the Dark!

“Did she not love you enough?” she questioned.

“Well, I can’t say she didn’t love me. But at times, love demand patience and I guess, she was just too impatient.” He said as he smiled looking back at her. She gazed back with blankness raising her eyebrows as her inquisitiveness to measure the gravity of his love for a former lover grew louder. He understood that perplexing stare. He took a deep breath and continued, “It isn’t that baffling, you know! At times time you don’t want someone to fix you, but you want someone to love your broken pieces. She tried her best to bring me to light, but she wasn’t ready to step in to accompany me in the darkness. And I was not ready to see the lights then.”

“Okay, but she did love you, right?” she questioned again.

He chuckled and replied, “Sometimes, loving someone with a terrible past isn’t easy. We fail to realize that someone with a ruined past has broken pieces and if we choose to help them in restoring their dented spirit then those sharp edges are going to slit our skin too. We need to be ready to bear those incisions we don’t really ask for or deserve. But, not everyone can do that. It requires a lot of strength and effort to bring someone back to light. It’s like, once a soul is addicted to darkness, it is quite wearisome to make them fathom the significance of being in light. We just can’t extend our hand and ask them to grab it. Sometimes, we have to dive into the ditch they are trapped in and endure the barbs, help them unshackle the fetter tied at their feet and then bring them up to see the light.”

“Are you ready for the lights now?” a faith in her eyes made her ask again.

He gazed at her and replied, “I’m not sure if my eyes can bear the lights again. I’m now hooked to the darkness and it gives me pleasure. Don’t waste your time trying to bring me back to a place I belong.”

She smiled and left without asking anything further. 

"I wish I could love you back. But to be honest, I don’t have any strength left to love again, or rather, ruin myself again. What people think is a matter of ‘just in my head’ is all real for me. My demons are real for me. My darkness is real for me. It’s just not in my head, it’s present in my lungs and I breathe that in. This anxiety and fear and depression is real for me!” he solaced himself.